Recently, I was online doing some research and came across a totally unrelated topic (you know how that happens). The title, Hopeless Holidays, made me so curious that I had to pause, click on the link, and read the article…in its entirety! I read through the list of some common reasons for people’s lack of happiness during Christmas. After reading, I thought about my own holiday spirit…or lack thereof.
Reason 1 – Money
Affording gifts can take away the joy if someone struggles with money. Christmas began as a religious custom, practice or tradition…the historical accounts are varied. Christmas has become a very commercialized gift-giving holiday!
Some people will plan ahead, in a valiant effort to save on the expenses of purchasing gifts. They will purchase gifts throughout the year, catching all the sales events that they can. Others will save all year – weekly or monthly.
Who remembers the Christmas club savings account at a bank or at work? The popularity of those accounts may have waned now, because of the low-interest rates. For those who may be interested in socking away money for gifts (for next year that is), there are other alternatives.
Bah Humbug?!
I do not give gifts. I am a scrooge based on the “expectations” of holiday gift-giving. Also, having adult children is quite a bonus. When they were children, they would be asked to make a list of the top 3-5 things they would REALLY like for Christmas. They would usually get one, or two (maybe three), of their choices on the list. The criteria for that outcome being the limit of the budget.
I had no difficulties at work either, because I would always participate in Secret Santa. I am sure you all know how that works. The best part is a limit to the cost of the gift. You can easily set aside money for purchasing the gift.
Even better, purchase a gift card (Visa or American Express) for the requisite amount. I know. I know. It is not that I do not care, but think about it for a minute. How well do you usually know what the person, whose name you have drawn, would like as a gift? It is supposed to be SECRET, so going to their “work buddy” to ask what they think you should get, is really NOT an option!
The gift card allows them to purchase anything they want, and from anywhere. By the way, I usually get (and give) Starbucks gift cards. We all (guys and gals) had our own personal Starbucks cards. We, therefore, welcomed adding more money to our rapidly depleted balances…wink…wink!
Reason 2 – Dispirit
Despite the excitement of the festivities, many feel despair at this time of the year. Christmas is the time for family reunions, which for many, is a time filled with happiness, and much celebration. Families are isolated, separated, throughout the year.
Separation is not only due to geographical locations. Too many of us are so plugged into the rhythm of our daily activities (grind), that we barely have enough time for ourselves. Juggling the responsibilities of our personal and professional lives in 24 hours can be very challenging.
Somehow, I do not think that if we could get more hours in the day that things would be any better. We, therefore, look forward to the holidays, to be able to spend quality time with our families and friends.
Isolation, unfortunately, can (and does) lead to much loneliness, depression, and anxiety. The bombardment of cheerful holiday festivities can be overwhelming, and lead to despair. Dispirit is the result of all these negative feelings.
We are human and dispirit cannot be avoided. If we are so inclined, we can learn how to deal with, or manage, our feelings. We do not have to reside permanently in our negative feelings.
Although a cartoon, even Charlie Brown felt despair at Christmas. Every year grownups look forward to this classic cartoon (because there is a little child in each and every one of you). Poor Charlie Brown is depressed, and filled with despair. Every Christmas. We watch the cartoon. Every Christmas. Have you ever asked yourself “why”?
I will let you sit awhile with that question. If you care to share your answer, please do so in the comments. I grew up in Jamaica, and am still learning about the culture of my adopted country. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Reason 3 – Loss
Loss can definitely impact the joy of Christmas. Dealing with grief and loss is a personal and unique process for each of you. Specific stages in the process have been determined to be common to all. However, in what order, and how long you take to go through each stage, is unique to you.
I am an orphan, having lost both parents to illnesses many years ago. It is indeed a strange feeling to be without parents during Christmas. My feeling of loss is naturally increased at this time of the year. However, I feel even more bereft, because December 26 is their wedding anniversary!
The song Blue Christmas brings me some comfort. I downloaded and learned the lyrics, so I can sing along, lustily and loudly, EVERY time the song plays on the radio! Thoughts of my parents and past Christmases spent with them, would bring me additional comfort…and yes, joy.
Reason 4 – Disengagement
Many people are not social during the year. Subsequently, aside from the office Christmas party, there are no other parties to attend. The resulting isolation and loneliness are due to this disengagement.
I tend to prefer my own company. However, I know the importance of social interaction, and when I feel it is time, I will move out of my chosen isolation status. I will go and visit a friend. I will sometimes even hang out at my local coffee shop, chatting up the baristas. Very enjoyable and enlightening.
Talking with others teaches me a lot about the psychological makeup of humans and their cultural behaviors. I am always curious and intrigued by human behavior anyway. We may be unique individuals, but if you pay close attention, you will find that we are not at all that different.
Reason 5 – Burnout
We can all relate to this last reason…and yearend! Christmas comes almost at the end of the year. It is not only about fun and festivities. It is also about completing all the tasks that need to be done by the close of the year.
Burnout also can happen, as we are all winding down from the hectic activities that culminate in all the fun-filled and fast-paced events on Christmas Day. Hours of holiday shopping. Lots of shopping and preparations for Halloween and Thanksgiving!
Geez – all these back-to-back events! Also, many juggling these activities along with their jobs and careers! There is no time to just sit, breathe, and relax! No wonder burnout can (and does) occur!
At the end of the day, however, you each have your very personal and individual lives to live. You, no one else, hold the power over your decisions and choices. Therefore, avoiding burnout rests in your very own hands.
What Is Christmas All About?
Charlie Brown’s question rings out loud. Every. Year. ISN’T THERE ANYONE WHO KNOWS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT?
Aside from the Biblical background that stands as the reason for the season, what Christmas is all about, rests with you. Your beliefs. Your feelings.
It is a period of religious celebration. It is also a period of great commercialization, from Black Friday, ornaments and trees, to the department stores’ Santa, and holiday displays. Some commercialization has become a tradition.
We are still in November, but I have been listening to 24/7 Christmas songs on my favorite radio station, since November 7! The songs are played 24/7 ending at midnight on Christmas Day. The radio station, only in recent years, does this annually. I look forward to it. I do not mind listening to these songs all day. Every day. It is nostalgic.
Christmas is really celebrated on only ONE day! I could not imagine hearing Christmas songs played on one day only! I enjoy how I feel, as I am listening to the songs.
Stop thinking about why the holiday is being rushed, and you will enjoy the music more. The holiday is not being rushed. This is getting you into the mood, as you transition from the festivities of one holiday to the next.
Remember, Christmas is ONE DAY ONLY! Enjoy the festivities. Always be aware and mindful, that not everyone feels the same way about Christmas. Be understanding. It’s the season to show and spread love. Show more than you do during the rest of the year.
Smile at the stranger, whose tired eyes meet yours, as you go about your day. You never know the day they are having. You also do not realize, how powerful such a small gesture can be, in lighting up their day.
Make this, and every, Christmas one of good cheer!
Wishing you much JOY this Christmas!
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