Fitting In Is Misunderstood

~ Why fit in when you were born to STAND OUT? ~ Dr. Seuss

Fitting in is misunderstood – greatly. How is fitting in possible? Trying to fit in is akin to trying to put that proverbial square peg in a round hole.

You are each a unique individual. There is no other person in the entire world like you, even if you are of multiple births. Aside from physical features, for example, no twin is identical to the other.

I feel that too many people are being hurt, unnecessarily, as a result of their inability to fit in with others. They are affected by depression and loneliness because for them, fitting in is important. Lack of peer acceptance has a great impact on their social life. It is painful to not fit in.

Benefits of fitting in

One of the benefits of fitting in is you won’t stand out. No one wants to stand out. Also, there is less stress and pressure in being a part of the crowd. No demands are made of you as you move comfortably among others.

There’s no need to worry about other people’s perspective of you. Why? You are not their focus, so you are free to live your life – without judgment for being different.

It may be easier to make friends. Others are not threatened by you, as you appear to be “normal”. Fitting in also helps you in getting and keeping a job. I find it absolutely amazing that fitting in may even be considered more important than actual job skills.

Have you ever walked away from a job interview believing you got the job? You had all the requisite qualifications, and you had an engaging interview, but you never received the job offer? It could be that you did not appear to be a good fit for the organization.

However, as unbelievable as it may seem, there are advantages to not fitting in.

Benefits to not fitting in

It may seem scary to be different but there really are benefits to not fitting in. The best of which is that you get to be yourself. How can you know who you are, if by trying to fit in, you are always being other than yourself?

In being yourself, you get to know all about you. Also, you get to find out your potential without the distraction of societal expectations.

It is not your intention, but by choosing not to fit in you will inspire others.

Look at Lady Gaga, for example. She is an inspiration to all who feel different. These individuals are encouraged, even empowered, by her song, and mantra, born this way. Her fashion choices perfectly reflect her uniqueness.

Who can forget her plastic bubble outfit, or her dress made of raw meat? In high school, she considered herself a misfit. Now she is among the list of famous people who inspire others by standing out.

I am inspired by her as I too was a misfit in high school. Growing up I was never one to want to do what others were doing. In school, you would find me sitting at the back of the classroom. An average student (so I wouldn’t stand out), I hung out at the back to make it easier to simply slip out unnoticed – at least by the teachers.

Slipping out of the classroom was easy to do because classrooms, back home in Jamaica, were open on both sides of each room. The buildings were not equipped with air conditioning or overhead fans. Our comfort depended on the cool island breeze passing through the open classrooms.

As I could slip out at random, I would always explore my own interests. My exasperated mother was always saying I danced to the beat of my own drum. Do you too have your own beat? Most importantly, do you dance to, or do you ignore it?

My belief is that fitting in is not quite understood, nor is it for everyone.

Fitting in is misunderstood

I say that fitting in is misunderstood because it is not possible as no one else is like you. However, you can share common interests with another individual, or group of people.

If that is what fitting in means, then there is a group for everything that anyone finds of interest. Finding and fitting in with a group that shares your topic of interest is possible.

A search on Google, or social media, on any topic of interest, will result in you finding hundreds, even thousands (or more) of groups. It is possible to find a group even if you have a unique topic of interest. If not, you can always start your own – you will soon have followers joining you.

Your shared interests will pull you and others together. It is only within those groups that you will fit in. Fitting in only pertains to your shared interests. However, each of you remains a unique individual.

In my opinion, fitting in is misunderstood as it can be understood in more than one way.

Let’s talk

What does fitting in mean to you? Do you want to suppress who you are so that you can be a part of the “in” crowd? How important is it to you to be “liked” by everyone? To be accepted by your peers?

I do understand that it is easier said than done. It’s weird, even maddening, that you have to struggle to be authentic in this world. Since you have only one life to live, it is mind-boggling to know how difficult (even painful) it can be, to live your truth.

Fully enjoying your journey, can be hard to grasp and take hold of, as you strive to fit into society – even into your own family. It feels all wrong, dysfunctional even, that you must make yourself uncomfortable, in order to make others comfortable.

What’s wrong with that picture?

Let’s talk!