Fitting In Is Not An Option

~ There is not another person like you because you are born different from any other individual. Live who you are and not as a copy of someone else ~ talkswitheve

Fitting in is not an option because you are a very unique individual. Look around you – really look – and you will know it. Actually, on a deeper level, you already know it.

As you go about living your life each day you may feel, as I do, that you are living in your own shadow. That is to say, I do enough to get along with others but still try to remain true to myself. Sometimes I wonder if there is something more or different that I should do – or be. So every now and again I feel the need to pause, reflect, and check-in with myself.

The coronavirus pandemic, and now the Christmas holidays have given me much more on which to reflect. The situation has made me unable to enjoy or engage in the usual holiday cheer. Our lives have been suddenly interrupted in such a very scary way.

None of us have experienced a crisis on this grave level. Even after almost one year we still continue to struggle to get back our footing.

Reflecting on, and checking in, with yourself is something to be done on a regular basis.

Reflection on being yourself

Reflection on being yourself may seem like a meaningless, even egotistical, thing to do. It is, however, the absolute best gift you can give to yourself. How else will you get to know who you really are? Or, if the path you are currently on is the right one?

How will you know if you don’t examine and re-examine yourself from time to time? If you don’t check in with or on yourself every now and again, you will be wandering aimlessly through life. Socrates said it best – An unexamined life is not worth living.

Do you wonder how you should do self-reflection? There are many ways, including meditation. Therefore, you may have to go through a few of them to find what works best for you. However, if you want to jump in immediately, you can get started by checking out these 3 simple steps.

The best thing I got from self-reflection is I have discovered the reason for all my struggles. My mother used to say that I danced to the beat of my own drum because I never followed the crowd. I have always chosen to go in the opposite direction.

Although I was comfortable being on the “outside”, I have struggled to understand why it was so. Why was I not willing to fit in? I never knew the reason, but I knew for sure it was not an option.

Fitting in is not an option

Fitting in is not an option for me because I am not willing, or comfortable,  to be like anyone else. Societal rules and expectations make it challenging to be myself. However, I want to be true to myself and so I have found ways to be comfortable with not fitting in.

It is a matter of compartmentalizing my thoughts and behaviors.

When I am with my friends, or by myself, I relax and let myself be me. However, when I’m socializing with others, or am in a professional environment, I simulate socially accepted behaviors. Others may label it as hypocrisy, but I will say in this case, they are mistaken. It is very different but that is for a discussion at another time.

As strange as it may sound, it works for me. I am able to stay true to myself and that means I will never fit in. You should find what works for you.

We are different individuals, and you must walk your own (not someone else’s) path.

Social distancing and stay-at-home orders due to the coronavirus pandemic, have afforded us much more time for self-reflection. Since you have been spending more time in your own company, have you done any self-reflection?  What did you find out about yourself?

It has taken years for me to know more about myself, and it continues to be a work-in-progress. Somehow I get the feeling it will never end. However, I am willing to put in the work to be exactly who I am. The more I know about me, the more I know I will not fit in – ever.

If you find that you need some help, this simple 3-step process can get you started.

Give it a try and discover how you can improve not just yourself, but also your life.