That Moment

~ Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal ~ Vironika Tugaleva

Crushing Walls

Have you ever had that moment?  That moment when some event in your life happened?  When you felt like the walls around you had closed in on you?  Suddenly!

It got dark.  Your chest felt tight.  Crushed like you were in the embrace of an 800-lb gorilla?!  You could barely breathe?  Felt almost paralyzed?

Only there was nothing physically preventing you from any movement?  Nonetheless, at that moment, you felt so crushed by emotional and mental anguish.  The emotions so strong, that you felt incapable of moving?

Have you ever had that moment?!

My Moment

Well, I recently had that moment!  I had a LOT of things going on all at the SAME time!  I had MANY balls juggling in the air.  None could be dropped.  Or so I felt.

All had equal importance.  Equal priority.  Each was linked to the other.  Depended on each other.

NONE could be dropped!  It would be disastrous!  Or so I thought.

That Moment

As I lived through that paralyzing moment, many thoughts flashed through my mind.  As in a movie reel sequence, I thought about all that brought me to that moment.  I didn’t realize tears were falling…wetting my cheeks…until they overflowed.  My vision blurred.

My Release

Silent tears continued to flow as my body, without my knowledge or consent, released its burden.  Unspoken communication within my body opened the faucet.  The inner unconscious workings of the network in my body, determined for its own preservation, to release the overcrowded emotional thoughts.

Tears are Miraculous

An article in PsychCentral describes tears as “a safety valve”.  Excess stress hormones get released when we cry.  The article indicates the outcome of not releasing excess stress – physical ailments and mood changes.

The tears ran unchecked.  I did not…could not…stop the flow.  Somehow, instinctively, I knew to stay in that moment.  Knew to just let it flow.  Within a few minutes…it felt like a lifetime…that moment passed.

Immediately, when the flow stopped, I felt the constriction in my chest dissipate.  I could breathe freely once again.  The shadows disappeared.  My world was as bright as the appearance of the sun from behind dark, heavy clouds.  There was such relief, I felt as light as a feather.  I actually smiled with relief, although my cheeks were still wet with tears.

The Aftermath

Medically, there are great health benefits to crying.  Mood enhancement and pain relief are two of those great benefits.  A 2014 study was conducted, to determine if crying was a self-soothing behavior.  Crying was found to have a direct impact on an individual’s mental or physical distress.

The release of my emotions that came from crying brought me such calmness.  My tears seemed to have cleared my thoughts.  I felt such relief in the aftermath.

The relief I felt, however, made no sense.

Despite the feeling of relief, my problems had not been resolved.  In fact, my problems still remained…unchanged.  However, I felt as if I had come through detox.

My tears had been more than the liquid rolling down my cheeks.  All the emotional and mental stress brought on by my problems was released through my tears.  The release allowed me to move away from that moment of paralysis…mentally, emotionally, physically.

Reactions

Did you know that although all animals create tears (to lubricate their eyes), only humans shed emotional tears?  Our tears are triggered by our feelings, and we cannot always put that into words.  My tears came out of nowhere (it seemed).  However, crying is said to be a way of communication when words fail us.

My tears did not just happen out of nowhere.  I had thoughts my mind was trying to figure out in the background. My mind, also at the same time, was trying to figure out the thoughts in the foreground.  How to deal with my current situation.

Lessons

Society has us all twisted, like a pretzel, when it comes to gender and crying.  The reactions of observers vary based on which gender is crying, and in which environment.  Reactions can be viewed as positive (supportive, empathetic), or negative (weakness, unprofessional).

Despite reactions, however, do not hold back your tears.  Even if crying may make some people (you or the observer) uncomfortable.  Suppressing your tears is suppressing your emotions.

Do not suppress your tears.  Have the courage to cry.  Seek that moment…it may be the breakthrough you need.  Tears are healing.  There are many reasons for you to go ahead and have a good cry.

I seemed to have had a good cry (albeit a silent one) when I had that moment.  My situation (problems) had not changed, but with the clarity that came after, I was able to make a decision.  A decision regarding how I would deal with my problems.  That it would be okay.  I would be okay.  I am okay.