~ It is not always good to love someone up close. Sometimes it is better to love them from a distance ~ talkswitheve
Do you know when it’s time to leave? When a relationship is no longer working for you? We spend time, for some maybe years, seeking for that one person with whom to spend the rest of our lives. After some time together with another, you feel like you have found the one!
Or, have you?
We find ourselves in a relationship, and we feel comfortable enough that we believe it can last – forever. However, sometimes, in spite of many bumps along the road, we settle in our relationship. We may not realize it, but there is more to life – but we have settled.
Are you settling in a relationship?
We are each a unique individual. No two person is the same. Each of us has a very unique path and purpose in life. In other words, you have much to fulfill in your own life.
So – how are you living your life? Do you have a checklist for the kind of partner you want? Have you been able to check off every item on your list? Some items? Or most?
You have checked off all the characteristics you desire in your partner. How is your relationship? Is it everything that you have envisioned? Probably not.
Why is that?
Unmet expectations. When it comes to love and relationship, I don’t think anyone is exempt when it comes to doing all they can to impress the person who catches their interest. That means behaviors, and actions taken, do not necessarily reflect those of the real person.
Of course, these actions, because they are not usually those of the real person, cannot be sustained for a long time. This means the characteristics previously checked off on your checklist may not be real. As such they disappear over time.
However, by then you have settled in your relationship as it is. Relationships are all about compromises as you are different people coming together. However, by accepting less than you expect, and deserve, you compromise yourself.
Settling, basically remaining static, is not allowing yourself to grow, nor reach your full potential in your life. Have you ever felt there is more to life than just what you are experiencing? Do you feel you value yourself and understand your self-worth?
Understanding your self-worth
Self-worth is defined as the opinion you have about, and the value you place on yourself. Who are you really? That is what you will need to explore to get a true picture. No one but you can do this. Only you will know the real you.
Who you are is not based on anything external. Don’t shy away from spending some time alone to get to know you. It is very important, as who you are impact any relationship you have with another person.
Understanding your self-worth stops you from comparing yourself to others. It is the measurement you have in knowing that it is not worth it to hold on to anyone. You need to know when it’s time to leave.
Although used interchangeably with self-worth, during your time alone, you also need to determine your self-value.
Understanding your self-value
Self-worth, valuing yourself, is your own opinion of yourself. You know and believe that you are a good person and you deserve good things. Self-value, however, has to do with how you treat yourself.
Valuing yourself means you appreciate who you are, and all your qualities. You do self-care, taking care of the health of your mind and body. There is no one else like you and so you embrace, accept, and celebrate your uniqueness.
In understanding your value, you can, therefore, understand and respect the value of another person. They should also respect your value and not devalue your worth.
Devalue your worth
We place value on material things and other people. However, too many times, the value placed exceeds our own value. Failing to value yourself can cost you in many ways, including financially and personally.
Low perception of your skills, for example, could result in you not pushing for promotions on your job, or asking for more money. It is very destructive when, because you do not know (or honor) your value, you allow your personal relationships to devalue your worth. Honoring your value is the key to knowing when it’s time to leave.
When it’s time to leave
Only YOU can make that decision. The expectations of others – your romantic partner, family, friends, even society – can, but shouldn’t, influence your decision.
Knowing your value, and your worth, help in not blinding you to the insecurities and conflict you may experience. The challenges you face and overcome help in the development of who you are, so don’t shy away from meeting them head-on.
Let’s talk
Do you believe you need validation from others? Are you hesitant to step out of your comfort zone? Or, is it that it has been a while and you do not want to be alone? What about the thought that maybe in time your romantic partner will change?
Check out this guideline to begin or develop the caring relationship you need to have with yourself.
Your identity and your opinion of yourself are both components of your true worth.
Let’s talk!
Leave a Reply